Darkest Parts
by LiveHappy247
Summary: This is my version of what will happen between Damon and Elena after she gets saved from being tortured by Wes in 5x10. (I do not own TVD or the characters)


**This is my version of what will happen between Damon and Elena after she gets saved from being tortured by Wes. This was hard for me to write because I have a Delena bias and I know that even if Elena does forgive Damon, it will not be easy. **

She asked me how many generations of Whitmore's I had killed. I told her that there were too many to count. She asked me when the last one was. I told her just a few months ago; when we were together. I just. Can't. Stop.

"Elena?" I whisper, walking into the living room. She sits on the edge of the couch with a glass of whiskey in hand.

Stefan and I were able to rescue her after bartering with Wes; Aaron for Elena, but that was after he had gassed her, poked around with a scalpel, and shot her up with vervain every time she was strong enough to lift a finger. But she is infuriated with me. I've been killing Whitmore's since 1958 even though 99% of them were in no way at fault. She can't say I didn't warn her, in a backhanded sort of way:

"_I deserve this. I deserve to die." _

"_I'm not the good guy, remember? I'm the selfish one. I take what I want. I do what I want."_

"_You know what I really am? Selfish. Because I make bad choices that hurt you."_

"_There's no apology in the world that encompasses all the reasons that I'm wrong for you."_

That last part represented a lot more than just not wanting to be human. It represented every human life that I've taken, every person I've hurt, every moment I've spent hating anyone who ever did me wrong. I'm no good for Elena Gilbert and deep down she knows that too, perhaps that realization is closer to the surface than it has ever been and it is all because I can't let go of the past. I can't move on.

"What? Have you come to apologize?" she bites, "oh but wait, you don't apologize. You just tell me how selfish you are and push people away because it's easier to be the bad guy. Well newsflash Damon, the bad guy NEVER gets the girl."

"Ouch." I take a huge gulp of my drink, savoring the burn as it goes down. The uncomfortable silence and deepening rift between us breaks my heart.

"It hurt," I begin, "what they did to me was the worst pain I've ever felt. I thought that as time would go on it would get better, but it didn't." I take a deep breath, nearly feeling the scalpel cut into me, "their favorite thing to do was to cut open my abdomen and take out pieces of my organs and then watch them heal, just to do it all over again."

Elena bites her lip, cringing at the mental image, but I know she is still reeling. "Damon, you've been killing innocent people just because of their last name," she yells, "I am sorry for what happened to you, I really am, but when does it end? Killing all those innocent people makes you worse than the doctors. When does it stop? Does it ever stop?"

I briskly swallow the rest of my drink and slam the glass down onto the table, "I don't know how to stop, Elena." My voice is cold because I can feel her slipping away from me all because I can't be the good guy that she needs me to be. "This revenge is the only thing that keeps me from switching my humanity off."

"Damon, you have me," Elena cries, "why can't I be the one to keep you from flipping the switch? Why won't you let what we have save you? Instead you rely on your selfish instincts and do everything on your own even if it's malicious."

"Maybe it's because I've been the bad guy all my life," I state firmly, "revenge is what I know. Revenge on Stefan, Katherine, anybody who's done me wrong. I've only had a few friends in my 150+ years of living, only been in love with two girls, and have been hurt a million times more." I take a deep breath, "I'm not the good guy, but you've always known that."

"Do you still love me?" Elena cries.

"Of course I love you," I hiss.

"Because I still love you and I'm trying with everything I've got to find a reason to forgive you."

"Did you ever think that maybe I'm not worth forgiving?"

The room goes silent, like we are both holding our breath, waiting for something else to happen.

"Frequently," she finally answers with conviction, "but you don't get to give up. Just because you have problems and don't know how to deal with your rage doesn't mean you get to push me away. You don't get to get off that easy because I won't let you. You don't deserve to take the easy route."

"Why? Why don't you just do yourself a favor and leave me right now?"

"Because even through the darkest parts of you," she says quietly, finally turning to look me in the eye, "I can still see a man, not a vampire, but a man who would die a thousand times over for me and his brother. And I believe that anybody capable of love is capable of being saved."

For the first time in a long time, I am speechless and I don't know what to say, so I say nothing.

**Did you like how I threw that Klaroline quote in there?...Yeah, me too! Lol. I hope I was true to the characters' personalities! Reviews/Favorites/Follows are greatly appreciated! Thanks for reading!**


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